Touch, intimacy, and connection for men.

Sexual desire is a powerful force that connects us to our most primal and vulnerable selves. Yet, many men struggle to fully understand or embrace their desires, often internalizing misconceptions that can create shame, guilt, or confusion. Today, on the www.trevorjamesla.com blog, we break down some of the most common mistakes men make when it comes to sexual desire—and how you can shift your mindset to a healthier, more fulfilling place.

When people hear the word "intimacy," they often think of romantic relationships or sex. But intimacy is so much more than that. It’s about connection—deep, authentic connection with yourself and others. And that's where an intimacy coach comes in.

Shame. It’s a word that carries a heavy burden, one that can often feel like an anchor pulling us down into the depths of our own insecurities and fears. As a gay or bisexual man, shame may feel like an unwelcome companion, lingering in the shadows of our consciousness. It’s that inner critic, whispering that we’re somehow "less than," or that we don’t quite belong.

Are you ready to embark on a transformative journey? Join us on a men's retreat in the lush landscapes of Costa Rica. This unique experience offers a chance to reconnect with nature, foster brotherhood, and rediscover your authentic self.

For many men, spirituality and sexuality exist in separate spheres. Religion might preach abstinence or shame, while sex is often seen as purely physical, devoid of deeper meaning. But what if these aspects of ourselves could be woven together into a powerful tapestry of fulfillment?

In a world where personal development and self-discovery are highly valued, men often find themselves navigating the complex interplay between sexuality and spirituality. These two powerful aspects of human experience can sometimes seem at odds, yet when understood and integrated, they can lead to a richer, more fulfilled life.

Many of us struggle with balancing different aspects of our identity—spirituality, sexuality, and intimacy often feel like conflicting parts of ourselves. But what if you could find a space where these elements could coexist harmoniously? That’s exactly what our 7-day retreat in the Diamante Valley aims to provide.

From a young age, I was taught that spirituality and sexuality were two separate realms. Growing up in a conservative environment, spirituality was framed as a sacred, pure pursuit, while sexuality was often shrouded in shame and secrecy. The messages were clear: spiritual growth was to be pursued with fervor, while sexual desires were to be controlled, if not outright suppressed. Intimacy, on the other hand, seemed like an elusive concept—something I was supposed to desire and excel at, yet was never clearly explained or demonstrated in a healthy way.

Forget chick flick clichés about cuddling (though that's important too). This is about guys and why we absolutely need hugs, high fives, and some good old-fashioned physical contact.

Turns out, all this "man up" stuff can backfire. Guys who don't get enough touch can experience a cascade of negative effects, including heightened stress, anxiety, and even a weakened immune system. Yikes!

Stepping into the uncharted territory of a new year is akin to embarking on a grand voyage, and as we chart our course through the calendar of possibilities, let us engrave a resolution that transcends the ordinary – a commitment to nurture and fortify the connections that form the very fabric of our existence, starting with the profound bond we share with our partners.

Physical intimacy can be a beautifully connecting and comforting experience, but what happens when you find yourself sharing physical closeness with someone you're not sexually attracted to? This situation can be challenging to navigate, as it requires sensitivity, open communication, and respect for both your own boundaries and those of your partner.

In a world that often views sexuality as taboo or solely physical, the concept of sacred sexuality offers a refreshing perspective. But what exactly does it mean? Sacred sexuality encompasses a spiritual and holistic approach to intimacy, recognizing it as a sacred act that can deepen connections and foster personal growth. It goes beyond the physical pleasure and delves into the realms of emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being.

In a world that is growing increasingly digital, making meaningful and intimate connections with other people has become both a rarity and a necessity. These connections are the foundation of our personal and professional lives. They help us grow emotionally and intellectually, fostering a sense of belonging and understanding.

The concept of chakras, originating from ancient Indian traditions, has gained recognition and importance in contemporary holistic wellness practices. Chakras are believed to be energy centers within the body that play a vital role in our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Balancing these chakras through bodywork is a powerful approach to harmonizing one's energy and promoting overall health and balance.

Men's retreats are rapidly gaining popularity, offering a unique platform for self-discovery, wellness, and spiritual growth. A men's retreat is not just a getaway, but a transformative journey that helps men reconnect with their inner self.

Have you ever found yourself in a place where every moment simply brims with transformation and love? I was part of an extraordinary team of facilitators, our collective aim - to create a "love-bubble", a haven of comfort and understanding within this dynamic festival. An invisible, emotional greenhouse where growth was not just encouraged but celebrated.

Emotional intimacy, often misconstrued as a women’s realm, is an integral part of human relationships that transcends gender boundaries. It refers to a profound level of understanding, openness, and trust between two individuals, fostering a bond of deep connection and mutual respect. Emotional intimacy is about allowing oneself to be vulnerable, sharing inner thoughts, feelings, fears, and aspirations with your partner.

Authentic relating is a practice based on honest, genuine, and transparent interaction. It's about being real, being yourself, and not being afraid to show your true colors. It's about not holding back, not wearing a mask, and not pretending to be someone you're not. Authentic relating is about connecting with others on a deep, meaningful level.

Often misunderstood and subjected to all kinds of myths and misconceptions, Tantra is an ancient spiritual practice with deep roots in both Hinduism and Buddhism. But what is Tantra exactly?

In recent years, discussions surrounding sex work have become increasingly prominent. Society's perception of this complex industry is evolving, and it is essential to recognize that sex work is work. It is crucial to shed light on the benefits that clients can experience through engaging with sex workers. By challenging prevailing stigmas and prejudices, we can foster a more compassionate and understanding society.

One of the biggest myths about great sex is that it ‘just happens’.

Sometime around the sexual revolution in the 1960s the idea that sex was sinful got replaced with the idea that sex is natural. But as psychotherapist and sexologist Esther Perel points out:

“It’s not natural. It’s an art, it’s cultivated, it’s learned, it’s an intelligence. It’s a lot of things but it’s not just something you ‘know’”.

As a gay man, I've always been interested in exploring different ways to connect with my partners. That's why I was excited to try gay tantric massage for the first time. It promised to be a unique and transformative experience, and it certainly delivered. In this article, I'll share my insights into the world of gay tantric massage, including what it is, how it works, and what to expect during a session.

We all crave connection and intimacy, but for some of us, the vulnerability that comes with opening up to others can be a scary prospect. Whether it's fear of rejection, past hurts, or a lack of trust, intimacy issues can keep us from fully embracing our authentic selves and experiencing deep, meaningful relationships. But what if vulnerability wasn't something to be feared, but rather, an art to be mastered?

Do you find it challenging to say ‘no’ sometimes?

Especially if we have a tendency to want to please, we can sometimes find ourselves saying ‘yes’ when we really mean ‘no’.

So why is this, and what can you do about it?

In our fast-paced world, it's easy to lose touch with the power of presence. We often find ourselves multitasking, constantly checking our phones, and rushing from one thing to the next. But what happens when we slow down and fully engage in the present moment? We open ourselves up to deeper connections and a greater sense of intimacy.

Mindfulness has become a buzzword in wellbeing circles in recent years.

But did you know you can bring the principles of mindfulness into the bedroom too?

Mindful sex is an approach that can help you feel more pleasure and connection by becoming more present to what you’re experiencing.

Here are some of the key principles, and some simple ideas to help you get started.

Many people struggle with intimacy. Whether it’s because they don’t know how to build connection or they feel too uncomfortable to share their true selves, there are countless reasons why it can be challenging. But, is that what’s holding you back?