Tantra, Nudity, and... Oh No, It's My Brother-in-Law

I’ll never forget the moment I walked into my first men’s tantra workshop. I was nervous, excited, and maybe a little self-conscious. After all, this wasn’t your average yoga class. There’d be nudity, vulnerability, and an exploration of intimacy that most of us aren’t exactly used to. I’d spent days hyping myself up, reminding myself that everyone there would be in the same boat.

But nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.

As I scanned the room, my eyes landed on someone familiar. Too familiar. It was my boss. Yes, the same person I’d just sent an email to about quarterly reports. The one who signs my paychecks. Sitting there, cross-legged, looking as out of place as I felt.

For a moment, I froze. My stomach dropped. My inner voice went into overdrive: What do I do? Should I leave? Should I pretend I didn’t see him? Will he think I’m weird? Will this make Monday morning meetings awkward forever?

If you’ve ever found yourself in a similar situation—whether it’s your boss, your brother-in-law, or that neighbor you awkwardly nod at every morning—you’re not alone. Here’s what I learned from that experience and how I navigated it.

1. Breathe and Normalize the Situation

The first thing I did (after briefly panicking) was take a deep breath. I reminded myself why I was there: to explore, to grow, to connect with myself and others. Chances are, that’s why they’re there too.

In a tantra workshop, everyone’s stepping out of their comfort zone. The fact that your boss or acquaintance is there says they’re human, just like you. We’re all seeking something—whether it’s healing, connection, or a deeper understanding of ourselves.

2. Acknowledge, but Don’t Overthink It

I decided to address the situation head-on. When our eyes inevitably met, I smiled and gave a small nod. Later, during a break, I approached him casually.

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting to see you here! Small world, huh?”

We both laughed, and that simple acknowledgment diffused the tension. We didn’t need to have a deep conversation about it. Just naming the elephant in the room was enough to make it feel less awkward.

3. Set Boundaries (for Yourself and Them)

Workshops like these often involve personal and vulnerable experiences. It’s okay to set boundaries if seeing someone you know feels uncomfortable. For me, that meant focusing on my own journey and not worrying about what he was doing.

If there are exercises that involve choosing a partner and you’re not comfortable pairing with the person you know, it’s okay to politely request someone else. Most facilitators encourage everyone to honor their boundaries, and no one will take it personally.

4. Remember the Context

This is important: the workshop space is sacred. It’s designed to be a judgment-free zone where everyone can show up authentically.

I realized that seeing my boss there didn’t mean he’d suddenly know all my deepest secrets or that I’d know his. The exercises and discussions were about personal growth, not gossip fodder for the office.

5. Embrace the Opportunity for Growth

As the workshop progressed, I started to see the situation differently. This wasn’t just a random coincidence—it was an opportunity. Seeing someone I knew in such a vulnerable space reminded me that we all have layers beyond our public personas.

By the end of the workshop, my boss and I had shared a few exercises (nothing too intense!) and even a laugh or two. Monday morning wasn’t awkward at all. In fact, there was an unspoken understanding between us—a sense that we’d both seen each other as more than just colleagues.

Final Thoughts

Walking into a tantra workshop and seeing someone you know can be jarring, but it doesn’t have to ruin the experience. In fact, it can be a powerful reminder of our shared humanity.

If it happens to you, take a deep breath, acknowledge the situation, and focus on why you’re there. You might even find that it deepens your appreciation for the experience—and for the people you thought you already knew.

Have you ever had a similar experience? I’d love to hear how you handled it. Share your story in the comments below!